^3 I thank my God every time I remember you. ^4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy ^5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, ^6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

^7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. ^8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

^9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ^10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, ^11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

“The fastest man in the world.” How would you like that as a title for yourself? I was the “fastest kid in second grade,” but that didn’t last for long! If you followed the Olympics at all, you know that Usain Bolt now holds that auspicious title. If you want to be the fastest man in the world, then you must have more than a quick start—you must be able to finish strong.

Of course when Christians talk about finishing strong, we don’t mean 100 meter races and things like that—we mean finishing strong in your Christian life. And we know that the Christian life is not a sprint, it's a marathon—a 40, 60 or even an 80 year marathon. Many people in the Nible had a quick start, but few finished strong. King Saul had a quick start in life. He ascended to the throne of Israel in a day and was the tall, warrior king. But Saul not only did not finish strong, you could argue that he didn’t even stay in the race. Likewise, King Solomon had a quick start. He was given the throne at a time of unparalleled peace and prosperity. Solomon was commended by God as the wisest man to ever live. If you had been watching the life of Solomon and had been asked to predict whether or not he would finish strong, you would have answered, “I have every confidence that Solomon will finish at the top of his game.” But he didn’t. The desires and pleasures of this life became more precious to him than the desires of God. I believe that he stayed in the race, but he did not finish strong.

For an example of what it means to finish strong, I want to read a letter that a pastor wrote to his sister one month before his death. Before we learn of his death, it is helpful to know that this man suffered in life with migraines, mental illness, insomnia, paralysis and tuberculosis.

Dear sister,

Were I to adopt the figurative language of Bunyan, I might date this letter, “from the land of Beulah” of which I have been for some weeks a happy inhabitant. The celestial city is in full view. Its glories beam upon me, its breezes fan me…and its spirit is breathed into my heart. Nothing separates me form it but the river of  death, which now appears but an insignificant rill, that may be crossed at a single step, whenever God shall give permission. The Son of Righteousness has been gradually drawing nearer and nearer, appearing larger and brighter as he approached, and now he fills the whole hemisphere pouring forth a flood of glory…

And now my dear sister, farewell. Hold in your Christian course but a few days longer, and you will meet in heaven.

Your happy and affectionate brother,

Edward Payson[1]

I want to die like Edward Payson. I want to finish strong like Edward Payson. I don’t want to be a Saul or even a Solomon. I want to be a David. I want to finish strong. But finishing strong does not happen by accident. If you want to die well you first have to learn to live well. But how do we do this?

We learned the foundation for finishing strong last week, and it’s found in verse six. He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Here is the good news: if you are truly saved, you will finish the race. You cannot not finish the race. For the believer, it is impossible to not finish the race, because the outcome of the race does not depend on us. Christ has earned your salvation. Christ has guaranteed that you will finish—therefore, finish strong. You don’t have to worry about finishing. Christ will carry that to completion, therefore you can concentrate your efforts not merely on finishing the race, but finishing strong.

After the message last Sunday, Lorraine Harnwell gave me her definition of joy, and she gave me permission to share this with you. Her definition of joy is an acronym—Jesus Owns You. This is easily seen in 1 Cor. 6:19-20. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. This idea brings out the notion of slavery, the buying and selling of people. If you were a slave in colonial America, or many other places for that matter you would not have a hope of ever escaping slavery. The best you could hope for is to be sold to a kind and gentle slave owner, and such owners did exist. I am not in nay way condoning slavery, but Biblically speaking, every person on the planet is a slave. Everyone—no matter their religion, country of origin, skin color or socioeconomic status—is a slave. And there are only two types of owners—either you are a slave to sin or you are a slave to Christ. The Bible says that Christ has bought us at a price—the price of his son, Jesus Christ. Jesus paid our ransom. Jesus paid our debt. Jesus bore our sins. Any way you want to say it, it all ends up at the same place—Jesus owns you. You are not your own. You are a slave to Christ, which is the greatest possible kind of slavery because we have the greatest possible owner in Christ. To be a slave to Christ is comforting, it is gratifying, it is safe, restful and joyful. Jesus own you, and that is the source of all joy.

This is also why rebellion is so futile and such a stupid endeavor. When we rebel against God, we think that we are pursuing a type of freedom, but rebellion is nothing more than the false pursuit of freedom. A rebel cannot free himself or herself. The rebel just falls under a different master. If so called freedom means that sin is your slave master, then by all means, pursue this evil slave master disguised as freedom, but at least know what you are pursuing. If you are going to abandon what your parents have taught you, if you plan to leave behind all that the Bible calls good and pure, please don’t call it freedom. Call it what it is—slavery to sin.

When you know that Jesus owns you, this becomes the foundation of your spiritual maturity. How many kids take piano lessons only to quit after few years? One of the reasons they quit is because they don’t think they are good at the piano and they don’t have hope that they will ever be able to play well, so they just give up. But what if a piano teacher could say to a new student, “I can guarantee you that you will play the piano.” If that teacher had a 100% track record of producing quality piano players and if the student really believed the teacher, do you think that would change the motivation of the discouraged student? Of course it would, because every effort on the part of the student would be guaranteed to bring a reward. This is a picture of our spiritual maturity. Since Christ has guaranteed us that we will finish the race, it also means that every effort we put forth will be guaranteed to bring a reward. We cannot fail. We cannot, not finish the race. This knowledge is the foundation of our Christian maturity.

Based upon this foundation, Paul spoke of his affection for the saints. Look at verse seven and following. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. ^8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. This is some of the most affectionate language that Paul ever used in one of his letters. He has a deep affection for the believers in Philippi; a deep love for them. His words are dripping with love.

What Paul presents here is the heart of a shepherd. Paul was a shepherd. The Bible calls pastors and elders shepherds, but a being shepherd is not the exclusive realm of pastors and elders. Anyone who has care for another human being is a type of shepherd. Therefore, the heart of a shepherd is also the heart of a parent, the heart of a grandparent and the heart of a leader. As we look at the heart characteristics of a shepherd, see if you can identify these traits in your own parenting, grandparenting or leadership.

Paul accepted them as they were. We know that the church in Philippi was a joyful church, but were they a perfect church? You do know that such a thing does not exist, right? Maybe they didn’t have as many problems as those believers in Corinth, but they were not a perfect church. Yet Paul had this deep affection for them. How was that possible? Obviously, Paul was loving them out of the overflow of Christ’s love for him. He wrote, “I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.” The word for affection here is literally translated as “inward parts” or guts. There is a high school girl on Ryan’s soccer team who has never played soccer before, yet she plays with a fierce determination and utter fearlessness. The other day I said, “Man, she’s got guts,” and of course everyone knew that I wasn’t commenting on her intestinal tract, but I was making a statement about her toughness. This is how Paul longed for the Philippians. “I long for you all with the guts of Christ Jesus.” He loved them from the deepest part of his being.

But the million dollar question is, how do you love someone who isn’t perfect? How do you love these snarly, unruly and difficult people? The answer is that Paul accepted them where they were at. To love someone is to accept them as they are. Who do you shepherd? Who do you lead? Your children, grandchildren? Other men or women in a Bible study? Would you say that for each person you shepherd or lead, that you accept them just as they are? Do you accept their sins and shortcomings? Do you accept them in their rebellion? Do you accept them even though they might have caused you harm in the past or are causing you harm right now? To love someone is to accept them as they are. You are not accepting them as they might be someday. You are not accepting them if they promise to change. You are not accepting them with an “if only” clause attached to your love: “if only” you do this, I will accept you; “if only” you stop doing that, I will accept you. To love someone is to drop the “if onlys” and accept them with no conditions.

How are you doing with that in your relationships? Are you able to accept others where they are at and love without conditions, or do you tend to attach all kinds on unwritten conditions to your love? But you might be thinking, “How can we just accept everyone as they are? If they are caught in a sin, how can I just accept that? If they are running into rebellion, how can I just accept that?” When you truly have an unconditional acceptance of others, this is the very kind of tension that you should feel. Your love for that person should be so empty of conditions and so free from “if onlys’ that it almost seems unfair, it seems like you are turning a blind eye to sin.

This is why we need the second half of the equation, which is found in Paul’s prayer for these imperfect Christians. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ^10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, ^11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

Paul loved them with the affection of Christ Jesus. Paul accepted them without condition and loved in a way that most of us only dream about loving, but contained in this prayer, we see Paul’s vision for what they could become. Paul wanted them to be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. He wanted them to be filled with the fruit of righteousness. In other words, Paul wanted so much more for these imperfect believers. Paul knew what joy in Christ looked like and what it felt like, and he longed for these saints in Philippi to know and feel it too. Paul wanted them to change and grow. Can you see how this answers the objection that we just accept people in their sin? What Paul was saying to this church is this: I accept you where you are at, but I love you too much to let you stay that way.

And that is not easy to do. How do you offer genuine, no conditions attached kind of acceptance on the one hand, but on the other hand, tell people that they need to change? Some say this is not even possible. Let’s take both of Paul’s statements here.

1. I accept you where you are at.
2. I want you to change to become like Christ.

If you separate these two ideas, either one of them is relatively easy to do. I can accept someone as they are by overlooking their sin and issues. Take parenting, for example. Permissive parents allow their kids to basically do what they want, and this is a form of acceptance. You may not agree with everything they do, but you conclude that it’s not worth going to battle over. The issue might be a two year old having a temper tantrum or a teenager in rebellious turmoil—but whatever the age of the child, many parents feel like the kid is going to win in the end, so why bother. Permissive parenting is a form of acceptance which is relatively easy to do.

Then there is the other side of the coin—I want you to change to become like Christ. By itself, this is also relatively easy. You can set a high standard for a person and then do whatever it takes to make them reach the standard: push, pull, threaten, bribe, control, beg, persuade. Do the children of such controlling parents feel accepted? They always feel like they are disappointing their parents, that their parents are never satisfied no matter what they do. The goal of these parents might be quite laudable. They may just want their kids to live for Christ and experience all that God has to offer, but they may be going about it the wrong way.

The permissive parent sends out messages of acceptance and the controlling parent sends out messages of change and both are relatively easy to do by themselves, but the difficult thing to do, and the vision that Paul lays out here, is to accept your child right where they are at, but also show them a vision of God that is attractive; to be able to effectively communicate that they are loved and accepted without condition, but also that you love them so much you will show them a better way. You see, we must not lower the standard. The standard is you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

We are not any help to others of we lower the standard, if we train them to be happy with run of the mill Christianity. We might do them more harm than good if we merely train them to be a nice person and good citizen. We must not and we cannot lower the standard. We have to come at both sides of this with the same commitment and intensity. I accept you where you are at. Can you tackle this idea in your relationships with intensity and commitment? I want you to change to become like Christ. Most of us are good at one or the other. We are either better at acceptance or we are better at promoting change and spiritual growth. Are you aware of which way you lean? Are you more accepting of people where they are at, or are you more determined to seem them grow.

Let me give you  a test case for which way you might lean. Maybe you heard last week that Christian singer Ray Boltz announced that he was gay and is living a gay lifestyle. What I am interested in is your reaction to this news. His wife joined leaned way too far on the end of  the compassion/acceptance scale and joined a group called Soulforce, which is a gay advocacy group. Others will hear this news and say, ‘Well that’s just sick! That’s why we need a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, I mean that’s just sick!” Where is the love in that?

Remember, this is not at all limited to parenting, but it is the vision for all shepherding relationships. To be able to look at people and with your words and you actions say to them, “I love you with all my guts, but I love you to much to let you stay where you are. This is how you can finish strong and this is how you help others finish strong.

Rich Maurer

September 21, 2008